Date: Saturday, February 2, 2008
Time: 7:25 PM

my worst nightmare had happened last night. i can't believe it. i was so stunned...

OKAY.

so we talked about it. had a plan. but the plan's not working. and i'm fearing lots of things now.

it'll never be the same. I will never be the same. i thought this morning i was recovering from it. but NO. i'm still falling back down. argh. i was trying not to release the demon in my mind, but he's spreading his virus. argh. no. i will fight it.

so what am i going to do? all i could think is suck it all up. cry it all out.

WTF. i can't forget it. i can't let go. no no no. it's not the same anymore.

my smiles will be fake. my laughs will be sounding less than what is heard. my soul is heavy and my mind is not working properly. i feel like crying my heart out now. but i can't.

this morning, i cried. my eyes were puffy all day. and still, my eyes are sleepy.

i can't fight for what i want. damn.

that's the reason i'm losing everything i love. :[ 0have left cookies for me