Date: Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Time: 8:38 PM

it's my dream. i'm weak. powerless. my world is turning gray once more. and i'm fearing it would turn to black permanently.

when i went home, i felt bad. really bad. we went to my cousin's flat on the riverside and as we were traveling, i was thinking to myself...

"If i jump off the bridge, would someone save me?
Would someone hold me back?
Would anyone care if I jump?
Would anyone think of me when I die?
Would anyone FIND me in the murky water?

i was imagining myself standing on top of the bridge, cars passing by, looking at me as I stand there, having my final breaths of fresh air. And then I jump.

People will scream. Call for help.

But they won't find me. They CAN'T find me. I'm buried in there. Regretting all the mistakes I've done. Regretting how I gave up everything.

If I continued to live, there could be so much more. But, as most of you know, I'm not a strong person. I give up easily. I'm not worthy. Yet I believe that I am.

Now I know I'm not, i'm happy that I die. No one will ever notice, anyway. It's like, i'm a person whom you see everyday, but really never been close to me.

I'm the easy-to-forget type of person. And i'm NOT WORTHY to live.

my heart is fragile. it breaks easily. so handle it with care, as many boxes say. if i love somebody, i almost give everything. all i care is that he's happy. even if i'm not, at least he is. i don't care if I'm hurt by him. All i want is that i take in all of the mistakes, all of the sorrows, and all of the hatred.

All of these are caused by me. By my foolish mistakes.

I suck at love. I suck at strength. I suck. No one would want a sucker. Unless you're a sucker, too.

I take things too seriously.

And now you know.

I'm not worthy. 0have left cookies for me