Date: Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Time: 8:24 PM

i want to cry. i'm hurt. my heart is bleeding. it's been bleeding since this morning. i once again find myself alone in a world full of people. i can't seem to find my way out from this freakish hellhole.

there are times when i feel i'm on top or not that much maybe on the middle. but most of the time [like, right now], i feel i'm drowning.

people never understand. they will never. do they understand how being a bipolar is freaking hard?

it's just so hard to deal. symptoms of being a bipolar are unbalanced mood swings and self-mutilation. i have dealt with those. and yes, i'm bipolar. freaking proud of it, too.

my love for everybody... it doesn't make sense to them. maybe because i'm not really good at loving someone. not really good at loving everybody. makes me look like a total shit.

okay. so i'm dumb in love. can you teach me how? i need to be alright again.

i feel my heart filled with tears. tears of blood. i feel hopeless. worthless. what does love really mean? all i can feel is pain right now. my eyes are producing tears, due to the fact that i'm listening to these sad, mellow love songs. i can't help it. i need music. i don't care if it makes me cry. these sounds always comfort me. even in the worst way possible.

feeling cold. feeling alone. got the worst new year ever.

i guess i'm just unlucky.

damn. i hate this.

Labels: emo, hatred, tears

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